So, before I get into this in depth (or “ad hominum” in the lingua franca), I just want to verify that everyone has seen this one movie, I’m not sure of the name, it’s got like this old fucker and he’s like trying to kill Captain America, but there’s this guy, this fucking guy, from like “The Count of Monte Cristo” or some shit (by the way, Monte Cristo, excellent idea for a sandwich), and he’s like there with the guy and there’s this one scene that’s SO f’n funny, but this guy isn’t in it, but anyway the old dude like throws this fat motherfucker off a cliff and there’s this pool there and I don’t REALLY remember what the deal was, except to say that the fat guy was Captain America’s henchman (sorry, henchperson, because, you know, girls can hench just as well as guys, and you don’t REALLY need a set of janglies to hench) and the Earl of Sandwich, I mean, the Count of Sandwich (you know, from the movie)(not this movie)(god I’m hungry)(I’ve had WAY too much fucking coffee) was there and he was driving the car and there was a girl but she wasn’t Jenny, even though he kind of thought she was, but then BEFORE that scene there was a shot where the old fucker was getting the shit kicked out of him and he was all like “LOL—GUNZ” and left one alive, kind of like the Byzantine’s would, except instead of putting out the eyes of his fallen enemies I’m pretty sure he just killed them, because, you know, he was busy or something and didn’t have time to get a hot poker (I think—the movie wasn’t clear on this, vis a vis hot pokers), and anyway as the guy was running the old fucker kind of stepped out after him and said, and he’s got a voice like busted concrete on a surfboard, and he says “tell them I’m coming! Tell them I’m fucking coming!”

And as I sit here, in third place, clawing back from fourth, inches from second and ultimately my rightful place in first, I say to those who are warming the throne and awaiting the king: I’m fucking coming.

It is thus that I begin this, the Seventh edition of The Week That Was. As follows:

SPATIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:
I am proposing a meeting of the Troggnation. My suggestion is as follows:

• WHO: All members in good standing of the Trogdor Baseball League, as well as any and all hangers on. This includes others, significant or otherwise, friends, so long as they are not of the “annoying” variety and are willing to pay a $5 “temporary membership” fee, nonrefundable, to be paid immediately, in cash, to the commissioner (optional).
• WHAT: A meeting of the minds and a test of wills, all wrapped up into a finely choreographed melodrama, writ large on the field of play. Yes, we’re talking baseball kiddies. A’s vs. Tardinals. Time to warm up your lungs, we’re planning on chanting “Drink and Drive” for 9 half-innings.
• WHEN: Saturday, 6/16/2007
• WHERE: Oakland, CA
• HOW: Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be. As a trend, as a friend, as an old enemy. Or, just show up. We’re planning on just buying “day of game” bleacher seat tix when we get there because the Coliseum is f’n huge, and there’s little to no likelihood that it’s gonna be full. Plus, the bleachers are just more fun. We’re planning on leaving Chico sometime around noon and getting to Berkeley in time to quaff a few adult beverages at The Pyramid Brewery in advance.

NOTHING ELSE
It’s late. I’m tired. It’s a perfect storm. More later.

FIN
And That…was The Week That Was.